I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
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