The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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