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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

W. C. Fields Quotes

American - Comedian January 29, 1880 - December 25, 1946

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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. - W. C. Fields

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. W. C. Fields

Smile, Humor, Day

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. - W. C. Fields

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. W. C. Fields

Funny, Food, Wine

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. - W. C. Fields

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. W. C. Fields

Money, Man, Rich

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. - W. C. Fields

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. W. C. Fields

Best, Sleep, Insomnia

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree. - W. C. Fields

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree. W. C. Fields

Women, Crazy, Doubt

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - W. C. Fields

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. W. C. Fields

Small, Snake, Carry

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull. - W. C. Fields

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull. W. C. Fields

You, Bull, Brilliance

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. W. C. Fields

Remember, Fish, Live

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - W. C. Fields

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. W. C. Fields

Horse, People, Sense

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation. W. C. Fields

Time, Man, Situation

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday. - W. C. Fields

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday. W. C. Fields

Think, Philadelphia, Year

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. W. C. Fields

Food, Water, Live

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it. W. C. Fields

Success, Fool, You

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to. - W. C. Fields

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to. W. C. Fields

You, Call, Answer

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath. W. C. Fields

Pet, Clever, Cat

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch. W. C. Fields

Lunch, Some, Took

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes. W. C. Fields

Water, Drink, Never

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. W. C. Fields

Father, I Am, Prison

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. W. C. Fields

Travel, Food, Water

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life. W. C. Fields

Life, Woman, You

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for. W. C. Fields

Love, Beautiful, Me

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one. W. C. Fields

Women, Want, Look

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. W. C. Fields

Feet, House, Nothing

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon. W. C. Fields

Funny, Life, Live

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink. W. C. Fields

Life, Beautiful, Experience

I like children - fried. - W. C. Fields

I like children - fried. W. C. Fields

Funny, Children, Like

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