W. C. Fields Quotes

American - Comedian January 29, 1880 - December 25, 1946

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. - W. C. Fields

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. W. C. Fields

Smile, Humor, Day, Start, Every Day, Off

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. - W. C. Fields

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. W. C. Fields

Man, Money, Rich, Poor, Nothing

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. W. C. Fields

Live, Water, Food, Nothing, Days, Once

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull. - W. C. Fields

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull. W. C. Fields

You, Bull, Brilliance, Them

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - W. C. Fields

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. W. C. Fields

Snake, Small, Carry, Always, Whiskey

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - W. C. Fields

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. W. C. Fields

People, Horse, Betting, Sense, Which

I like children - fried. - W. C. Fields

I like children - fried. W. C. Fields

Funny, Children, Like, Fried

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. - W. C. Fields

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. W. C. Fields

Funny, Food, Wine, Sometimes, Cook, Even

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch. W. C. Fields

Best, Up, Bartender, Nerves, Scotch, Set

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against. - W. C. Fields

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against. W. C. Fields

Vote, Never, Always, Against, Anyone

Top 10
W. C. Fields
Quotes

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting? W. C. Fields

Death, Cold, Where, Drown, Whiskey, Thy

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday. - W. C. Fields

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday. W. C. Fields

Sunday, Think, Philadelphia, Year, Once

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree. - W. C. Fields

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree. W. C. Fields

Women, Crazy, Doubt, Question, Degree

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money. - W. C. Fields

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money. W. C. Fields

Money, Wrong, Sucker, Keep, Allow, His

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - W. C. Fields

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. W. C. Fields

Woman, Me, Drink, Her, Decency, Even

Never give a sucker an even break. W. C. Fields

Never, Give, Break, Sucker, Even

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. W. C. Fields

Live, Water, Travel, Food, Me, Nothing

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation. W. C. Fields

Time, Man, Face, Situation, Bull, Take

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch. W. C. Fields

Lunch, Out, Some, Cork, Took, Weasel

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to. - W. C. Fields

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to. W. C. Fields

You, Answer, Call

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath. W. C. Fields

Pet, Down, Cat, Cheese, Clever, Rat

I'd like to see Paris before I die... Philadelphia will do. W. C. Fields

Die, Paris, Philadelphia, Will, See

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves. W. C. Fields

Man, Turn, Popcorn, Over, Pancakes, Ever

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for. W. C. Fields

Love, Beautiful, Me, Blonde, She, Drink

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. W. C. Fields

Live, Remember, Fish, Dead, Swim, Float

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it. W. C. Fields

Today, Drink, Ahead, Real, Two, Only

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