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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. Fields
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Top 10 W. C. Fields Quotes
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W. C. Fields Quotes
American
-
Comedian
January 29
, 1880 -
December 25
, 1946
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. Fields
Humor
,
Every Day
,
Over
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields
Funny
,
Even
,
Add
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. Fields
Money
,
Poor
,
Nothing
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. Fields
Bull
,
Brilliance
,
Them
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.
W. C. Fields
Small
,
Always
,
Furthermore
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
W. C. Fields
You
,
Answer
,
Call
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
W. C. Fields
Sleep
,
Lot
,
Get
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
Food
,
Forced
,
Once
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. Fields
Hope
,
Death
,
Including
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W. C. Fields
Horse
,
Sense
,
Which
Top 10
W. C. Fields
Quotes
View the list
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. Fields
Pet
,
Breath
,
Eats
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
W. C. Fields
Nerves
,
Set
,
Another
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields
Success
,
Again
,
If At First
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. Fields
Pancakes
,
Popcorn
,
Over
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. Fields
Woman
,
Her
,
Even
I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields
Funny
,
Children
,
Like
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
W. C. Fields
Women
,
Question
,
Degree
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. Fields
Woman
,
Rest
,
Standard
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
W. C. Fields
Money
,
Allow
,
His
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
W. C. Fields
Love
,
One Thing
,
Drove
Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
W. C. Fields
Children
,
Bad
,
Anyone
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. Fields
Equality
,
I Am
,
Prejudices
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. Fields
Feet
,
Like
,
Having
Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
W. C. Fields
Never
,
Been
,
Over
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. Fields
Face
,
Tail
,
Take
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
Travel
,
Africa
,
Nothing
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Related Authors
Steven Wright
Robin Williams
Groucho Marx
Mitch Hedberg
Rodney Dangerfield
George Carlin
Joan Rivers
Lucille Ball
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