My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

Spike Milligan Quotes

Irish - Comedian April 16, 1918 - February 27, 2002

My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic. - Spike Milligan

My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic. Spike Milligan

Profound, Dad, Lunatic

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine. Spike Milligan

Thought, Mine, Reads

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. - Spike Milligan

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. Spike Milligan

Money, Chance, Prove

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. Spike Milligan

Funny, Tree, Sure

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens. Spike Milligan

Dying, Want, Afraid

My father was a soldier, which meant that he was a warrior, which meant that he was important. My mother rode a horse and sang in the Governor-General's band, so that made her important as well. Spike Milligan

Warrior, Meant, Which

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. Spike Milligan

Wait, Connected, Would

I can speak Esperanto like a native. - Spike Milligan

I can speak Esperanto like a native. Spike Milligan

Funny, Like, Native

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. Spike Milligan

Happiness, Money, Form

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge. Spike Milligan

Health, Year, Fridge

It's all in the mind, you know. Spike Milligan

Mind, Know, You

The night before Tilbury, the Cordon Bleu gourmet dinner turned out Cordon Brown. Six out of ten to the chef for trying and ten out of ten to us for eating it. Spike Milligan

Turned, Six, Before

I remember lying out in my bed and looking at the vast, quiet sky. Right up above my head, there were three stars in a row, and I remember thinking, 'Well, I'll have those three stars all my life, and wherever I am, they will be. They are my stars, and they belong to me.' Spike Milligan

My Life, Bed, I Remember

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion. Spike Milligan

Occasion, Used, Should

I don't think of depression as contagious. Other depressed people challenge the idea - which can be very persistent and irritating - that there is something odd about you: that you are unique with regard to this wretched state. Spike Milligan

Think, Very, Which

The experience of being in the Army changed my whole life; I never believed that an organization such as ours could ever go to war, leave alone win it. It was, as Yeats remarked of the Easter Rising, 'A terrible beauty.' Spike Milligan

Beauty, Rising, Whole

I am afraid that, like Timon of Athens, I just cannot let go of my friendships. Spike Milligan

Go, Like, Friendships

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke. Spike Milligan

Singing, Spent, Harry

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't. Spike Milligan

Marriage, Perfect, She

I have resigned from the human race. Look at the way we treat animals. Spike Milligan

Treat, Race, Animals

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? Spike Milligan

Going, Come, Use

Thankfully, we didn't stop at Malta. I think Malta was thankful, too. Spike Milligan

Think, Stop, I Think

My parents always threw everything out, gave everything away. I'm surprised they never threw me away. That's why I've always kept my children's things. My parents had no feelings for belongings. Spike Milligan

Always, Away, Threw

Unbeknown to me, my manager, under my very nose (in a crouching position) has all these years been secretly compiling a book from my correspondence. I often wondered what she was doing in my office. She never did a stroke of work for me. All the time, I have been working for her. Spike Milligan

Doing, Been, Very

We reach a secondary road and - here comes the bonus - we pass the Temple of Neptune and Cerene, at Paestum, both looking beautiful in the sunlight. Strung from the Doric columns are lines of soldiers' washing. At last they had been put to practical use. If only the ancient Greeks had known. Spike Milligan

Reach, Here, Been

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order. Spike Milligan

Perfect, Working, Worn

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